Zzzz..

Ah fuck.. Should have waited for e 8800 carbon Arte.

Everything.

Everything happens for a reason, but must there be a meaning to everything?

Too much thoughts.

Damn. I cant sleep.
What happened over e past few days.

Tuesday.

First lesson at 830am; Statistics. I woke up at around 630am, but decided to sleep another 15mins more; woke up at 8am instead, missed my 1st lesson of e year, great. Initially, wanted to head home after lesson, very sleep deprived for e past few days; sleeping debts are cumulative :( However, one of my staff fell sick, so I went to work in Toa payoh branch instead. Then, did a stock inventory over there, ended up transferring a whole list of goods to my branch instead. Had dinner with siqi after work, followed by several rounds of pool. Damn, I pocketed white ball at least 3 times for last ball. Slept at 6am.



Wednesday.

Fuck day. Supposed to head back home after work to repay my sleep debt, but ended up downing a jug of gin lime & vodka orange each in Double O. Ya, & one shot of Sex on e beach; but taste of only pineapple/watermelon? Didnt really feel like being on e beach -.- Anyway, was there with siqi, lydia & her cousin. The cousin was scary shit, asking me all kinds of weird questions Zzzzzz. By e time I got out of there, I was already half gone. Had a conversation that went wrong, cos I dont remember what I said & what was being told except for e very last part. Still, I dont understand why I couldnt wait. Again, I slept at 6am.



Thursday.

Woke up at 12pm, nearly mistook it for 11am. A splitting headache to start with, but my very first thought was u. Forced to have my lunch cos my dad already cooked, it was horrible(not e food); e notion of vomitting was constantly on my mind. Went to work with a heavy heart & my world around me just ceased to be, I was collecting my thoughts. Xiaoyi gave me a surprise visit & we had a 30min chat @ Coffee bean. Ha, he's majoring in English literature, fucking hell & got himself a girlfriend! Apparently, he got to know her when he was relieve teaching English, ha. Saw guojun on e latter part of e evening, before e start of any conversation, he already took out his cigarette, Zzzz. Seems like his case wasnt settled yet, attending court tomorrow. (All e best to him). Met a fuckup customer who kept on insisting for a refund of his psp cos there is a dead pixel on his set & still tell me he knows about e dead pixel policy which doesnt warrant a refund; wtf? His reason being ' Just want to feel good about getting his $ worth' & threatened me that he will stay in e shop unless something is done. heh, typical moron. I just gave him a straight no & micheal, always e pacifist, played e babysitter to him. Went home with yih shy after work, she happened to visit her sister & was going home too; just nice to have a listener.
I was waiting for a reply & fell asleep at around 3am.

Today.
& woke up at 7am. In fact, I woke up a few times in between, just couldnt get to sleep. Got e off I wanted, need to sort out my thoughts. Spent one whole day at home? Neh. Think I just get a novel from library & cooped up in Starbucks @Orchard. I wonder what lies ahead? There are so many reasons on why I should give up but am too stubborn in e things I believe, too much faith put in. I dont get it. If things are so precious to hold on to, why nothing is being done to justify it?
Am I asking too much?

Zzzzz..

LOL. I dont know wtf am I thinking.

Lessons later.. damn.

Afterthoughts.

Thoughts were filling up as e repertorie was being played out. I cant understand why am I in this situation, but neither do I want to be somewhere else. Silence held most of e time, as raindrops landed softly on our sides. It was what I wanted all along, a dream I held so dear. & I knew that with each stride we took, I was losing you bit by bit. Upon e gates, none of e words came & all that was left was e void created by your absence. Tears filled, but none could see nor understand. All I wanted to say was ...... Would u?

I dont believe much in fate.
But sometimes, one have to believe.
Coincidences dont happen way too often, for e right reasons.

10mins

Ever get a feeling you are in over your head?

It was e kind of assurance that none can provide & it was given; felt. As I poured out my emotions, e fact became clearer that e replacement was just a fig of your imaginations.

appreciated it.

Why?

Had a big quarrel with my mum,

& I lost my temper.

I just dont get it why does she have to tell others about what's happening in my life when I had told her umpteen times not to. Cant she just try to understand? & of all things, its because I gave someone e benefit of doubt. True, she is concern about me, but thats never e way to show one's concern. Guess its my fault to tell her my stuffs in e first place.


& you know what's e worst of all?


You arent around whenever I need you.