Lol.

Lol, it somehow amazes me; those foolish things that I did in e past. But then, I dont see why I wouldnt do them again? Heh.

Matarese.

Finished 'The matarese circle' yesterday night. I had mixed emotions about e whole story plot, as in it really stirred e feelings inside me. Really well written, but it wasnt e action that touched me, it was e relationship part. It describes a man, in seek of e truth, struggles with e fact that he had to trust & cooperate a man who assasinated his wife years ago & also to come to terms with a new found love that he can lose in any moment.

Ah.. I wana sleep liao..

Arghh..

Been spending e past few days at home, nursing my body. However, I dont seem to be recovering even after taking e medicines. My body can be very hot at one moment & e next moment, breaking into cold sweat. Funny thing is even when my forehead is cold, e temperature that i measured under my tongue can be 38.5. And I couldnt sleep at all, keep waking up every 30-50mins, which then I will take a big gulp of water & measure my temperature. Probably, I might have broken e guiness world of records for making e most dreams in one night. Its kinda creepy; I can wake up when am dreaming halfway & continue it when I fall asleep. Some of them are quite strange too, Zzzzz.. The worst thing is e migraine, makes my head damn 'heavy' & unable to concentrate. Anyway, when I went to e doctor, he told me that am young & not in any health risk group, therefore normal medicine + water + plenty of rest will do. Wtf, but am still having fever now!! Hopefully, I can recover by tomorrow morning; cant afford to miss my pay! My damn school fees are coming!!

I should be resting now.

Ever got shot back when u try to be nice? Typical assholes will say u are a hypocrite but I got a better one; accused of trying to pick up a fight. Been sick since Sunday but there was a shortage of manpower yesterday + my fever went down on monday, I went to work. Everything seems fine until I was about to knock off, e fever came back again, zzzz. So, I kindly sent a msg to ask a better replacement whether she can work? Apparently, no reply. & I kept waking up, cant sleep at all; insomnia + e frequent trips to toilet(drink lotsa of water). Until I really damn tulan & sent a blasting msg at 6am, citing why no reply? Then, I got e reply, saying that it was replied earlier on & I was trying to pick up a fight & venting my anger. Wtf? From this incident, once more I learnt again it doesnt pay to be nice & one can get a clear view on those who really care about u. However, that doesnt mean that those who didnt voice out, arent caring either.

Whatever it is, I will remember this day well.
Hence this entry.

..

The only time u realised u are wrong is only when u are alone. I shall have an early night. Goodnight.

Green shoots.

I got a craving for asparagus now; looking at this month wine & dine issue. & they got introduce alot of nice dining places this month! Was thinking about chicken rice at 'wen dong ji' this evening, think off day must go & eat. Anyway, got 2 liquer for my birthday this year. A bottle of smirnoff Green apple from szehui & Grey goose from ken! Somehow, heard some news that shattered this short lived happiness of mine. Sigh..

24.

Neverending excuses? Am used to it. Though I always give e benefit of doubt, it never stops me from thinking otherwise.
Passed another year of mine, finally 24. Totally exhausted, but still, I would like to thank everyone who had made e slightest effort to wish me a happy birthday. & also to those who shelf their time to celebrate my birthday too, deeply appreciate it:)

I havent wish what I want to wish for. Cos I really dont know what I really want.

24.

Been burping non-stop e whole day.
Was at Butter factory yesterday night with junjie(e bdae boy), denise & afew other acquaintance. LOL, free flow until 1am! But what comes free wouldnt be good too, e vodka orange taste really like watered down orange juice & my favourite gin lime; cant really describe, it just sucks. Main agenda was to make junjie drunk & get him a nice girl. Well, he didnt get drunk but got to dance with a nice lady who is a mutual friend of mine. Still, I drank quite alot, 1st time gona get drunk by free flows! Dont know why, I cant seem to remember what happened in between in e dance floor except for e fact that junjie was enjoying himself, haha. Anyway, another round tonight, which am going to be low profile, have to take e damn IPPT on sat morning, Zzzzz.

Going to be 24 years old in 2 days time, hai.. I am still stuck at e starting point when i was 17, did nothing that am proud of, have nothing that is worth at least 5 digit & a profession I hardly call a profession. What went wrong? Nothing. I just didnt make full use of e choices I had, ha. But I arent bitter about it, just wondering about e question that I have been asking myself for e past few days.

& I think am getting near to an answer soon.

late night.

It seems to me that I didnt really make a choice that time. & after a serious talk, I realised that am not sure of what I want. Thinking back of e times when I was really alone in Jakarta, I fully understood e need of a someone to be there.

Lol, I need a good sleep.