Sigh..

I only can put it; either she was e best I ever met or I havent meet another better one. I always hope for e latter but e former always prove me right. Dont know why, am always bothered over this thing.

Anyway, got my schooling timetable. Monday & tuesday will be at school e whole day, whereas e rest of e week?Working.. Lol, this should be my routine for e next 3 years. Got this nice pastry from a regular customer. Nice!

Some pictures of Ting. She's getting heavier, I cant carry her for more than 5minutes liao, sad.

Forbid.

Damn, I shouldnt have uttered that sentence, its been repeating in my mind e whole night. Forgive me.

Bathing woes.

Saw a Post-it note on my heater switch just now.

Without fail, I take warm shower for every bath. So, even if e weather is damn hot, I will still switch on e water heater. My mum on seeing it, will either switch it off or keep on nagging at me that e weather is hot; e latter most of e time. I had just finished bombing on Iraq, reached my hand out of e door for e heater switch, but touched a paper instead. So, I pulled it out. It reads "no pusn, save $$" Ya, she spelt push wrongly. Why I knew its my mum? Of course, she is my mum, ha. You see, she saw a pamphlet yesterday on how to curb e raising utlities bill & also on ways to save electricity. Hence, must be one of her ingenious excuse to remind me not to use e heater e next morning. Saw her when I came out of e bathroom. 'You write one right?' 'You always forget to switch off' Zzzzz, that is e hidden meaning, I admit that I often forget to switch it off. Cant blame me for trying right?

Anyway, I had this damn fantastic biscuits! Know why? Cos it taste fucking nice. Think its from sweden? Cos e wrapper had 'IKEA' stickers on it, ha. The brand is call ' Goteborg ' & I had e raspberry one! Seems like I have to make a trip down to Ikea soon; just to get e biscuits :)

Dream.

Made a rather strange dream this morning, one that was full of disappointments. It seems so surreal, unlike most dreams that I made; somehow sometimes I know that I am 'dreaming'. At some point of it, I woke up; my room was too cold, it was raining heavily outside. So, I switched off e air-con & carried on leaning on my bed, staring blankly at e ceiling. Should I go? I fell asleep before getting a decision.

I need some time to think about it.

Gone.

I feel like banging e wall now.
Just when I managed to suppress my fear & finally agreed with myself of e decision, something crops up. Fucking shit.

Gesture.

Sometimes a simple gesture can really make your day. It can be from anyone else, even a stranger. Maybe its my upbringing, ha. I can do a lot of fuck shit, spewing out expletives before you can finish saying 'hello'. Spitting anywhere, as if I'm entitled to, which I do feel that I'm, ha! But I still do observe e basic courtesy & e necessity of it. Well, in e sales line, u get to meet all sort of people, almost different people everyday. Some are downright shitty, which I do feel like whacking if I had e chance. While some, are really damn nice. There was once an indian foreigner who bought a bluetooth headset from me, however he came back e next day, citing that he wanted it for mp3 listening, not just only for phone calls. However, I couldnt offer him a refund & e headsets that did allow mp3 streaming were too expensive. Guess what he did than? He gave me e headset & said ' This thing no use to me, so I give you. I see u happy, I also happy.' Woa, though it just cost a mere $45, e words strike me hard; for a foreign labourer who earns around $900 a month, or maybe even less than that. I really take my hat off him, for his graciousness.

Lol, am not thinking straight, this isnt what I wanted to write. Heh.

Thoughts.

It made me rethink about my future, society is damn too practical. I need to have more options! Anyway, I decided not to take a loan; need to find a way to have a stable income. Had lunch with shih @ raffles & its really damn rushing, not because of e time allocated to e workers to have lunch; around 1 hr. But e rush to get e seat/table. However, I saw some innovative ways office workers did to 'chop' their seats.

Tissue, e ultimate weapon, often carry by ladies, very cheap & fits easily into any pocket; just place it conveniently on any chairs u want & voila, u get e seat! I saw a table with 4 seats allocated to it, guess what? 4 tissue packets on e table, cool. Next one is e foldable umbrella. At first, I thought someone might have forgotten to take his/her after e meal; after walking past a few tables, I realised its also another tool of their trade, lol.

Well, went back to ttsh after lunch & its e same chiobu doctor! Now, she tell me its most probably an eye ulcer & only e scar tissues are left. But, I still have to go back in one month time, Zzzz.. Then, went down orchard to do some shopping, left empty handed; was thinking about e morning conversation. So, went down to tlh to get my spectacles done; turned out that e shop wasnt open, uncle went Thailand, Zzzzzz..

Time to work.

Blind.

Zzzz, I left my sunglasses spectacles in e shop. Tommorow sure to be 我猜！我猜！我猜猜猜! when am taking bus, cant see them clearly until they are 10metres from e bus stop :( Anyway, am finally a student! Wahahahaa, got my student card liao! 2 more months to school & I cant wait for it! Wahahahaha.. Lol, soon I will get to choose my modules & plan my new timetable. Wonder what is it like to be back in a lecture hall, I am sure I will fall asleep in e first lesson; cant afford to do that anymore though. I will really miss some things, maybe.

Perhaps, its time for a change?

Loss of income.

Sad, 3 days of not working = loss of $300 income. On top of it, I had paid around $200 for e consultation & medicine fees :( Went back to e hospital again this morning, damn early, fell asleep afew times while waiting for my turn. Then, came e bad news; they cant diagnose e bacteria that is affecting my eye. Reason being, e samples given were too small (fuck, they poked me 4 times for that & still said its small!) But there is good news too, my eye is responding well to e antibiotic treatment, hence they gave me steriod eyedrops, which is much more stronger & more payment too, Zzzzz. In total, I got 1 solution to clean my eyelids & 4 different types of eyedrops to be used at different time. Sigh, I have to bring all of them to work tomorrow & still have to wake up early. Going for SIM orientation tomorrow!

Wasted.

Supposed to be a fun filled monday.
- See e GP at Woodlands polyclinic
- Then watching Kungfu Panda with my sister at Causeway Point
- Followed by basketball in e early evening
- Lastly dinner & fishing.

This is what happened. Reached polyclinic at 2.15pm & waited 20mins to get registered. Spent 45mins waiting to be seen by e doctor, which by then e time slot we wanted to catch e movie was over. After examining, e GP decided to refer me to be seen by eye specialist @ Tan Tock Seng hospital e next day; waited 20mins to get e referral letter. However, when my name was called, I was told to go TTSH's A&E instead, citing strictly today. Damn, no more basketball liao. So, brought ting to Burger king for dinner & I found out that... She likes to eat onion rings! Went down to TTSH after I sent her home. Registration was fast & so was payment, even faster; I have not yet been seen by e specialist & already had to pay $80, Zzzz... Finally, after waiting for 2hrs, I was seen by e specialist. Analysis was done through a machine, some form of eyedrops were dripped into my eyes & I was told to wait again, to let e liquid dilute? Then, I was called back to e same room. This time round, a different type of eyedrop was dripped into my left eye, in order to numb it. I saw it then, a needle, e specialist had to use it to extract/scrape some infected cell samples from my cornea. Knn, imagine looking at e fucking needle being poked into your eyes. Damn scary! Though my eyes were numb, I still could feel e poking sensation, I was really shivering.. Somemore, she had to do it 4 times!! Gawd, no more next time. Folowed by another 30mins waiting, I got e time of my next day appointment which is about 10 hrs away. Now, I have to wake up every hour to drip e antibiotic eyedrops; specialist instructions. Cant take it too lightly though, she warned me that, if not contained, e infection might spread & lead to blindness -.-

Great...

...

Fuck, my left eye keep tearing; there is a white speck at e bottom of my iris & my blood vessels around it seems to have burst. Anyone experienced similar symptoms? Think I need to see a doctor soon..

More than yesterday, less than tomorrow.

I stumbled over this kevin kern's piece when I was recreating my itune playlists; my previous ones cant be port over, hence had to redo, gan. This piece dated damn long ago, 8 years perhaps? Haha, made me think of some silly stuffs. Realised, I often laugh at my past whenever I think of it; except for e r/s parts :( When I was in secondary 2, 梁老师, my chinese teacher who was also my form teacher, told me a sentence ' As you get older, u will laugh at your past whenever you think of it' . True enough, e period of secondary school life, e things I did & e things that happened, some are really downright stupid. Haha..

Anyway, I uploaded e music piece. Come to think of it, I wonder who will I say to; more than yesterday, less than tomorrow.

For yesterday is but a dream
& tomorrow is only a vision.
But today well lived,
makes every yesterday a dream of happiness
& every tomorrow a vision of hope
Look well, therefore to this day.

Help!

Besides Puzzle world, anyone know where to get nice jigsaw puzzles? Looking for one with live dolphins! Not drawn!

Rainy day.

Its raining..



It suddenly brought me back to several of my past. One at e chalet; sitting alone on e pouch, staring blankly at e rain. The other, at a shelter in east coast park, braving strong winds together as I held her tightly in my arms; e laughing moments together with e occasional kisses..



Things do get too quiet at times.

Recents.

Nice off day! Finally had e chance to sleep until afternoon on my off day, but I woke up at 10pm plus & couldnt sleep thereafter, Zzzz. So, went over to e library, got some nice novels! Been weeks since I last touched one! Then met up with beng, had KFC (dont know why he likes KFC so much) for lunch supper; cos I already had lunch at home. The rest of e afternoon was spent slacking at Starbucks, not really; fucking phones kept ringing while I was doing e excel spreadsheets for my company sales list. Perhaps, I should be more involved in management stuffs, rather than on sales. Basketball for e evening, reminiscence of e good old seconday school days. Especially when I get blisters due to my stubborness of not wearing shoes, barefooted playing! Great, I have several now & having difficulty in walking :)

Last week; significant events.
Thursday - Szehui's birthday, kept drinking & drinking, I admit that am an alcoholic, once start drinking, very hard to stop; finished 1/5 of martell by myself when e rest of them went to smoke. In e end, had to ask taxi uncle to stop halfway to let me puke. Back at home, I made a mess in e toilet while bathing & went to sleep without clearing it. Thanks to my brother, he cleared up most of my mess, so did my father, thousand of apologies to them, appreciated it.

Friday - Woke up with migraine. Had a busy day at shop, followed by e company meeting. It ended with a sour note for almost everyone except for tianlong & me. Well, cos I got a pay raise of $20. Well, it looks fantastic on e surface, but I have to deal with e unhappiness & doubt that was/is lingering on others' minds. As in like, I only came back to work full-time less than 2 months & not even in charge of any branches, yet am e highest paid in e company. I did question dave why he did it; he gave me a vague answer, ' cos u did well'. He also mentioned that he wanted to urge e others to work hard, citing that he will raise e pay of those if they prove their worth. kind of double- edged sword huh? Some might think he's being bias, hence, pointless to work hard & cause them to deteriorate. Those that take it in their stride, hopefully, might prove their worth. Think siqi was e hardest hit, did notice e look on his face, yet I cant do anything about it. Anyway, it still didnt answer my questions over my future in e company, perhaps that is his answer to me. Sigh....

Saturday - 1st day of getting my raised pay, $100, it does feel shiok. Coupled with my bonus tier, it was even more shiok, about 2 days of my usual pay. So, watched Chornicles of Narnia: Caspian prince at Causeway point after work. Went with yihshy & joined by my brother & his friends. Not as good as e 1st installment, very draggy, predictable ending. Maybe watching casper is better? Ha.. Am going to bring my sister to watch Kungfu panda soon!