When does it ends? I really dont know. Its already been more than 1 & a half years, yet am still stuck with e occasional flashback, memories. Actually, I will be more than satisfied to see u, just to know that u are doing well; which u are. Ha, I really need a good rest...
Just finished bathing & should be sleeping now. Somehow, something is bothering me, or rather been on my mind for e past 2 days. I still cant get it right; missing someone or missing e feeling. 2 more months to make things right, for I dont wish to make a wrong move & regret later on. Sigh.. Cant things be much more simpler?
Been too tired to write for e past few days; damn tired by e time I reached home. Everytime I login to e new post page, my mind will be thinking of resting on e bed. Next moment, am on e bed, sleeping soundly, ha! Working is really damn tiring, have to face all sorts of customers everyday & perhaps, cheat most of them too, ha! Well, maybe not cheat, sales talk; damn repetitive everyday. Even when I am off, cant relax at all; schedule still damn pack. 2 months after ORD, somehow I do miss e times in army, where I can go take a nap whenever, wherever I want to, as long as my job is done. After a 2 long years of absence in e company, except for working on sundays & company meetings during my ns stint, I feel that am no longer interested in doing sales; in mobile phones. However, e challenge to acheive maximum profit at e expenses of e customers' wallets still excites me. To see e company grow; well, its more of an obligation & also a gratitude to someone who has been part of my guiding process for e past 7 years. Sigh, meeting coming up soon, hope things turn out well..
Fell asleep before 1am yesterday night, yet I still feel that I dont have enough sleep. Wake up to see so many msn message not replied :( Ahh, damn tiring to work everyday! But I dont really have a choice, cos need to save up $ for my degree fees. Siao la, I never write any cv before, anyone with a good one? So that I can copy, heh. Looks like I have to take a half day off tomorrow; need a haircut, need to pay bills & settle my sim stuff. Great, so many things to do within a short time. Time to go for work!
Zzzzz, life's really a damn boring routine. No more late night lan gamings, drinking, clubbing & not even a decent chat over coffee. Too busy at work & it ends too late, hence e only venue of entertainment is home; dota & dota & dota, plus e occasional chat on msn with e usual lot.
I actually wrote this post at 11pm, but decided to save it & continued on e next day. However, thanks to alan, I cant seem to sleep now. Why? Same symptoms as him, but different perspective. Hence, am writing whatever that is going through my mind. Its nice to wake up in e morning or awaken by e sms tone, to see a greeting message that will really make your day. Near lunch and/or dinner time, some idiots will ask whether you have your meals yet. Someone who be there for you with no questions asked nor expectations from you. Best of all, placing alot of faith in a person whom you dont really really know at all. Strange isnt it? I really dont know what am I missing.
Its incoherent, I know.
e morning cold water doesnt seem to quench my thirst at all. It just feel not right; on e way I handle things. How am I suppose to judge things clearly where e line separating truths & lies is so blurry? I do want to see things change, of course, for e better. I am listening all e while, attentive to my surroundings. Still, nothing happened. However, I didnt forsake my faith, though u returned it.
Perhaps, I shouldnt have bother at all.
Words dont suffice.
Finally, I managed to solve 2 problems that has been tagging me for weeks.
Then another one pops up, great.
Sleep.
请让我靠近你轻轻对你说
别让我每个夜为你受折磨
是多么不容易才默默放手
为了我就当作这次为了我
别让我因为你被回忆折磨
而空气凝结了我们的脸孔
我别无选择
* 就算我们之间有什么问题
依然想念着你虽然被放弃
虽然我愿意
就算我们之间有什么难题
黑夜我还想着你
心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意
(心还想着你)
再让我靠近你轻轻对你说
当我说我要你从此好好过
是真的否则我怎么肯放手
为了我就当作这次为了我
赐给我你现在幸福的笑容
别让恨冻结了我们的脸孔
请你做选择
心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意
Nice song. Link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpuFzTE_xgQ
But I cant seem to find it in mp3 format :(
Absolute just rolled out a new vodka flavor! Mango! Saw it in this issue of Wine & Dine, anyone flying? Get me one!!
Went for my grandma's birthday yesterday; my paternal side. It is e first time I celebrated her birthday & also e first time I had dinner with this family besides chinese new year. It feels good to be around with them, though, I cant really remember e hierachy of e family members nor e names of my cousins. As usual, had a long talk with my dad & I came to realise I have alot of similarities with this man who was almost out of my life for e past 17 years. Lol, I dont know why, I downed 6 cans of beer yesterday, think I do that almost everytime when am there. There was alot of food, coupled with e beer, made me really damn full. Towards e end, we had a strawberry cake, made by Ziting, tasted not bad! Ha. Then, I went out with my stepsister met up with reiko halfway then went to Holland village's coffee bean. From chen cao, I came to know more about my dad, his everyday life, seems like he has mellowed abit, approaching 50 soon. Ya, he was telling me to enjoy my life while I can & to slow down when am approaching 50. Ha..
Slow down? Hmm...
Lol, some customers can be damn funny. Especially e indian ones, those foreign workers. They like to ask for e pricing of stuffs, for almost everything & ended up buying nothing; a constant source of nuisance. One common dialogue ' How much K750i?' ' $140' '$140?' plus some sign language which only they understand, followed by ' tekka there cheaper, only $100' Fucking idiots right? Then what for still come & ask when they know tekka market stuffs are one of e cheapest in SG. Got a few ladies keep calling e shop phone to ask about e phones they bought, a common one is to asked how to charge e phones, cos most of e export sets charger are 2 pin; just get an adapter la, Zzzzz.. One even came back & stood at e counter for 4hrs just to upload her images from e phone she traded in to e new phone.
Anyway, watched 'made of honor' yesterday night, damn nice movie. I think beng will envy e main actor, in fact most guys will, ha. Halfway through e movie, I was explaining to someone in sms whats a black number; for 20mins. But e show is really nice, it gives me another nice venue to hold my wedding, if I ever get wed; on e top of a building, too bad SG dont have skyscrapers.
It also left me with alot of thoughts, was thinking about them while walking back home. In e end, I decided to make a call. Its just too strange, too early for anything.
Yesterday night
On e train home, I was thinking about several things. One of it was e company & e staffs working in it. Seems like e trust we have with one another is no longer there anymore. I remembered e times when we always gather for dinner after work & almost everyone of us will attend. Now, nobody even ask for it. I find it rather funny, that alot of significant things which happened, e news never reached my ears; until only very much later, especially e two years absence when I was serving e army. Somehow, I keep on feeling that e one that wields e biggest influence is upsetting e whole thing. Why? I dont know. Maybe, partly because I cant be really bother about it. Nobody really cooperate with each other unless it serves their interests. Lol, maybe this is workplace politics, e more people u work with, e more politics to begin with. Seriously, though I act nonchalant about it, actually I really wish to do something about it. However, unlike last time, it involves too much people & e lack of cooperation makes things difficult too. Guess that I start with my branch in boon lay first.
Off to work.
Work was damn busy yesterday. But not bad, 2 ladies bought me drinks, one was yih shy passing by, e other is a customer of mine, wahahahaha.. Song, I made quite a few good deals, profit around $200 for each transaction. Lol, e best was a china guy who bought e used motorola V8. New one is currently going at $380 market price, I sold e joker for $365, used one somemore! Ha. Today work with tianlong, siao liao; my sales sure buang.
Going to work in 20mins.
10am.
This is e time I usually wake up nowadays. Could be earlier sometimes, if e fucking construction workers doing e upgrading starts earlier. Then, I will start to post my ads & read some of e online news before going off to work. I guess that, this should be my daily routine until school starts in august. Nothing new happened for e past few days, always e same old things recurring. Decisions, I have plenty of them to think about, maybe that explains why I have so much white hair. Problem lies with e way on how I deal with things; I cant do well in judging things with emotional attach. Sigh..
What to do? I go prepare for work le.
Reached shop at 1220pm today, but micheal having e keys, wasnt there yet. So, I walked around Jurong point & went to have my lunch. It sudden strucked me then.
The thoughts of you came back & I was left pondering again; going through what happened that might had triggered it off.
I realised, it remains e biggest mistake of my life. Time to sleep.
Great. Another big decision to be made in 2 weeks time, Zzzz.. Nevermind, at least I get to use my black beauty le. Reformating it now; IBM T61! Wahahaha, its going to be ready in 1hour time!
Nabei.
My coughing season is back! For some parts of e year, I will be coughing like there is no tomorrow, lol. Been working non-stop for e past one week, its damn tiring. Wake up at 10am in e morning, post my ads, eat lunch then take mrt all e way down to boon lay, finish at 10pm, come back home bath, then sleep. This kind of lifestyle kinda suits me now, need to save more $ for my university fees. Besides, I also not much in e mood for night activities nowadays. I knew what was coming before e hand reached out, I could have pushed it away. But, I still took it back.
My heart ached & thoughts were running wild in my mind.
So, I made it a last time, but it wasnt a unforgetable one. No effort made.
It is back in my hands again.
