New year eve!!

Just woke up, had a great night out yesterday with James & Marcus. We went to vivocity to catch death note 2, the show was ok la, just that I didnt expect e ending to end in that way. Well, was window shopping around, actually looking for a tea flask, got e sudden urge to get one & brew tea, lol. I went to daiso, quite alot of things can be bought there, like kitchen utensil; household stuff etc. Then, I went to e rooftop, e view is quite nice there, very serene, maybe I feel serenity around e place, but then no star leh, maybe cloudy night? Dont know, a certain feeling was running through me, haha. After e show, we went to saint james power station. Sad, of all people, only my id kena check -_-". We went to boiler room for awhile, then stayed at powerhouse till 3am. Overall e music is average, service sucks, why? Because, there was a lack of servers & bartenders, we waited quite long for e drinks & when we asked e pricing, some of them werent sure about it, even their closing time, it was an estimation they gave us -_-". The crowd more of mature ba, because guys age limit is 21 while girls are 18, seems like we were e youngest in e crowd. Surprisingly, their long island tea is quite cheap, $15 a glass, I like e taste though it wasnt as strong as e one in Onyx before.酒为什么好喝，因为他难喝, hehehe...

Today new year eve, I'm thinking of going clubbing, but will be very crowded, maybe have dinner with my friends ba. Haha, 1st time in 3 years, spending new year & not watching fireworks with you, miss e times. Nevermind, must roll out my new resolutions liao...

Yeah, finally reached home after being in camp for 2 days without internet access. Its horrible without internet, cant login to msn chat with my friends, check my mail or write my blog. Basically, these 2 days doing nothing just simple paperwork in camp & "piaing" american gods, great novel I can say. Then, I received a sms on thursday, one of my army mate lose heavily in soccer bets, ask me for help, but I cant help him, just advise him not to play anymore. Hai, is it so hard to restrain on your bets meh? Just have a sense of self control & responsibility ma.

Today, nothing to do again. Haha, actually got quite alot of things for me to do, but I just dont have e mood to go & do it. It takes time for this storm of mine to cool down, just applied my remaining leave, going to be on leave for another 4 more days after e next week. Any programmes anyone? Was talking to choohui just now, lol, she also just broke up with her bf 1mth ago, seems that she got over it too, same old answer, same old advice, haha, this is a vicious cycle. Guess that I'm those who take a longer time to recover...

My mind's a blank..

Just came back from camp. 1st thing I do is to switch on e com & write my emotions on this blog, I'm really in a daze, dont know what to do. I try not to think at all, but 心还是那么的痛.Yesterday ---> I didnt get to book out, because encik last minute dont allow, in e end, I wasted my $8 on my movie ticket, supposed to watch deathnote 2 with beng & alan. Then, went to e mess, found out keys with encik, go thru e back,; e windows not opened. Great, went to get my newspaper in coy office, cant find it, must be someone who took it. So, I msg her asking whether she free to talk. Lol, she told me she not free, talking to her boyfriend. Hai, e thing that I dreaded e most finally happen, e next 2 hrs, I was standing outside e corridor looking at e dark red sky. Aferwhich, I called her, maybe this is e last time I tell her how I feel & to wish her happiness, lol, I also dont know what I doing. 如果他真的是你的快乐，选择他，希望你真的快乐. 虽然我在骗自己，我真的希望你能得到你要的兴福.In e end, I think she was quite pissed off, which I kinda expect & e rain continue until 3am plus. I didnt manage to sleep well, kept crying & my mind was filled with thoughts, vivid images of me & her.

In e end, caught a flu, luckily not much work today, I just stayed in e office reading "American gods". I told JJ i cant help him next week, really dont have e 心 to do things now. All along I thought that there are still some things that you are holding on to, but seeing e pictures no longer there & e presence of that ring, I can see e msg you are telling me; You have totally given up?. IHaha, of course, I hope that I'm wrong. Am I making any conclusion? I also dont know, I really dont know... 我只知道我很真的想你...

Nothing is for certain...

1st time having such a bad hangover, still having headache now. Xmas was good, though e meal i prepared sucks, but then, still finish 90% of it, hee. Hai, by looking at their faces, my white russian sucks too. Sad, if only you were around. Then e whole group of us; 1st time my sec & poly friends went out together.... to play DOTA! Hahaha.. Nb, they keep on pawning e noobs, play till xmas itself, but then e whole night not over yet. We moved off at 1230 to clarke quay but alan they all didnt go. So, me, james, marcus & xiu went to MOS, drank at retro room, then we walked around, found a new room! Haha, its e clinic! The music there is not bad, trance based, sorta of remain there for e next 3 hrs i think? I wasnt going to drink that much, but quite relaxed, so unknowingly drink until drunk. Actually marcus was e one who was drunk 1st, was going to send him home, then I became e next victim. Lol, next time cannot mix liquer with red wine liao, really killer la..

Well, it wasnt as bad as I thought how this year xmas will be, thx guys, I really enjoyed myself, haha, but xmas wish not fufilled, shall make e same wish again next year! New year eve here I come!!

What do you really know?

I've been struggling with my emotions all this while, what do you really know? I always have to put up a strong front while talking to you, trying to keep my tears, you know how hard it is? No matter how good my intentions are, its always misunderstood by you. You wanted me to keep a distance, yet you said we are dirfting apart? How am I suppose to know to do what; without interaction, without proper communication, how will things go on between us?

Can you just for once use your heart to listen & talk to me? Rather than using what you think is right? No matter where I go; Taking a bus, e usual you leaning on my shoulder is not there; walking around malls, e familiar hand holding me secure is not there; in my room, e often laughter & e conversations we had are no longer there, yet when I wake up everyday, e 1st thing I wish to see is that you are sleeping beside me. What do you know? That I'm emotionally torn inside out & you're not doing a single thing? I'm not blaming you, rather I blame myself for not being able to do a single thing & just know how to cry only. I want to spend xmas with you though its not possible, I wish that you can do something to improve e r/s between us...

Sian..kena tua..

Met up with Yuxin in e afternoon, had lunch with her coffee club in holland v, very nice place cos very quiet, literally no people. Lucky gal lo, she going US to study for 6mths, some more tuition fees sponser with allowance!! Diao, I also want to go overseas! Chatted with her till 3pm, then we parted our ways at commonwealth. I went to ntuc to get e food stuffs for tommorow dinner, my neighbourhood's ntuc damn ou piao, alot of things dont have, but also good la, I ask e beng to buy for me, save my $$ too! Actually, suppose to go Momo later, but some idiots cos dont have car, then dont want to go, damn fuck up la. I cancel my other friends' outing just for e night lo, then because of a stupid transport tingy, they dont wan to go, grow up leh? Then next time marry your wife, e car halfway spoilt, then dont marry lo. Damn frustrated. Hopefully tommorow they dont screw up, at least give me a trouble-less xmas eve.

Heng, shi yan jio me for movies in town, going watch flyboys later, afterwhich heading to Long bar at raffles hotel. Lol, I dont have mood to drink, but still wana drink, crap...

幸福就是当你戴上我给你的戒指，点头对我说 yes 的时候...

Fall asleep unknowingly on e desk last night, must be due to e liquers, lol. At least I didnt wake up till 11am. Anyway, discussed with Alan & Beng that 24th there will be a gathering, I will be cooking spaghetti & finger food, going with liquer cocktails that I will be concocting. Anyone who want to come, just sms me ba, need to count e no. of people. Hai, looks like its going to be a boring day & I'm still reeling from what she said, fuck, go sleep again..

Love bearth all things? I used to believe in it..

Went out with my cousin in e afternoon to get a guinea pig for him, went to various shops but most of them don't sell, those that do; their guinea pigs are too old le. So, I promise him to keep a look out for him, lol, he was quite disappointed. Then, I pass some comics to her cos on e way to other pet shops, same thing, quite happy to see her, but quite sad in e sense cant get really get close to her. Notice a ring on her finger, lol, she told me she bought it herself? Well, while chatting with her on msn in e later evening, I found out that she got someone else in mind, "whether i can commit anOt as least someone is doting, caring, loving showering mi with everyting.. thou all these u can do it too bt the least for hIm is he can gain my trust easier den u.. i still feel the insecure bt he can ease it better den u coz he isn't the 1 who cause it.. worsen it.. or anyting else.." Haha, I dont know to laugh or to cry, though it hurts alot to know it but at least there's someone to take care of her.

Imagine that both of us still have feelings for each other, but going on with our separate life. Suppressing e feelings inside us, we met others & some of them become our bf/gf. Then, one day, we got back again, but looking back, do you think it is right that we meet others to heal our individual hearts? I'm not saying that it's wrong to pursue your own happiness neither is it wrong to be with another person when your previous r/s ends, it just that would you want to love someone who had tried so hard to forget you & trying to love others & ultimately; coming back to you? Is this e way how things should be? Haha, maybe.. both of us are just trying to deceive ourself by finding a "better" person in order to forget e previous one. If not, why bank on someone else when e one that you really love is just right beside you?
Love bearth all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things & never fail; what do you think?

Had a conversation with her last night, just asking her how is she doing, but dont know why it she became angry because of something that I said which I dont even know what it is. Lol, even though we are not together, yet i still have to qian jiu ni. I choose to do so cos I still love her or maybe I'm just plain silly.

那就顺起自然吧，我只想要你开开心心的和我在一起。

Back from KL!!

From Larkin terminal, we took a coach for 25rm to Kl, 5hrs trip, reached putra raya terminal at 2pm ba. Then, we went chinatown to look for a hotel to rest, we went to a few, then settle for a "love hotel" going at 66rm for 3 person/night. Haha, e room super chui, partition by wooden boards, e bed & pillow worse than bmt one sia. Nevertheless, we still slept there for one night. Ok, after putting our belongings, Mr hollander aka Alan said he wanted to go Petronas tower, cos e 3 of us dont know how to go, he suggested taking e MRT. We didnt know it was at e KLCC station, then Hollander told us its e opposite direction, tamade, went to some unknown place, settle A & W for lunch, cos e both of them said that SG no more liao. We did ask for directions to take e train, but super complicated as it involves interchanging, so we walk around trying to get a sense of direction. Suddenly, we saw e towers, at least 4km away, so we walk lo, save transport $$. The worst has yet to come...

As we were walking there, we came upon a unique building, then gui wana take pic, as we walked nearer to it, fucking shit, it is ZOUK! But then, it was monday afternoon, also not open, we were wearing slippers too.. Alright, we reached e twin towers, walk around to find a way up, upon finding it, damn tulan, cos not open to public on Monday. Stomach hungry, so we went to Bukit bintang plaza, off Alor road for dinner. Took a cab there for 15rm, actually should be much more cheaper, but e taxi drivers there all chop foreigner as long you dont speak canto &/or malay. Hehe, ate Bbq stingray, bamboo clams, fried egg oyster, satay, all e food there nice lo! Hehe, went back to chinatown to shop, e ppl there super choppers, their initial pricing is always at least 200% higher.. But e things are cheap if you know how to bargain your way out, I got 2 "levi jean" for 50rm each, a backpacker bag for 68rm & a pair of "nike" sneakers for 50rm. Haha, cos I always buy after e 2 morons, they sort of like become guinea pigs for me & I end up paying lesser for e same things! However, if any of you buying e jeans, its advisable to get 2 size bigger, cos e cutting very strange leh. After shopping, went back to hotel rest, rested for 2 hrs ++, went 7-11 with Alan to get beer! Then went back hotel talk cock, talk about our love life till 2am, slept all e way to 10am.
Went to eat char siew rice with roasted duck, it was great, I wanted to eat one more plate lor, but my stomach getting bigger,lol. Then, we went back to e jean shop to change e size & get another pair for my bro. After which, we went back to petronas, this time round, alighting at KLCC. Lots of office lady, wee!! We went straight to e lobby to get e tics, but then e tickets were totally given out for today public touring. Damn! bek chek ar, came all e way & cannot go up again. No choice, went to walk around KLCC mall & took a rest at coffee bean. I ordered hazelnut caramel ice blended, nutty taste sia, then slack down for a hr. Gui keep saying "hua he tio hoe", damn irritating, always tell me to be happy. I'm what, just that... Then we went off to putra raya station & got our coach tics for e trip back to Johore, finally reached home at around 11am, still had to chiong thru e heavy rain while at my home bus stop, heng never catch cold. Great trip, but it will be better if you are around, go pack my things le!

Good old days...

Went to watch Deja vu with beng yesterday, quite a nice show, but somehow predictable ending. I miss e 1st 20mins of e show thanks to beng who was late. Anyway after e show, I met up with my bro at Taka & we went to G2000 & U2 to get some clothes. Hmm, I got myself 2 pairs of jeans cos I was going to throw away 2 pairs of my old ones, damn long liao since sec 3, also got a white short sleeve shirt. Haha, I finally manage to get Armin Van Buuren 2005 album at sembawang music!!! Thus, now short of his 2004 album only. Until 7pm, we parted ways, beng went to find his friends at clarke quay, my bro went to fetch my sis & I went to meet up with qinyi. Lol, suppose to meet up with sharon too, but she down with a fever, nowadays lots of people down with flu & fever, might be due to e weather. So, I accompanied qinyi to get a present for her bf at cwp, nothing ideal for her boi, then we decided to find somewhere else to sit down & have a chat. Well, had a great talk with her, we were talking about e old days in school , how our friends are faring now & also about our r/s. Lucky ger, met someone who is very nice to her, happy for her too! Its true, without trust, its impossible for a r/s to build up, which why once e trust is lost, its hard to maintain e r/s anymore. Hai, stay e night at beng house, its been a long time since I last stayed over, good old memories, things were very simple then, no worries at all, hahahaha.... Alright, going KL le, will be back on tues night/ wed morning, cya guys!!

Soooooo Poring...

Super boring day, have to stay in camp today until morning for duty. Went dota with my bro, JJ, siqi & ken yesterday until morning, keep kena suan by them, seems like I'm e worst player among them now. Saw e Motorola Kzar K1 silver color, super chio lo, I getting it in a few days time, those who seen it will sure love it cos e local ones now only have blue color! Supposed to meet up with joel tonight for steamboat cos yesterday his birthday, outing canceled due to his other commitment, lol. Been sitting in front of e computer for 4hrs, nothing much to surf, any nice websites to intro?
At least tommorow got alot of programme, haha, go home can go eat dim sum, my bro's treat! Back to slack le!!

Took 1 week of leave, but dont wad to do..bother..

Sian, reach home today at 330pm, always rushing to book out early, but with no programmes on hand. Later meeting up with beng & alan to watch Deja vu. Met up with alvin yesterday, he was e one who contacted me cos wanted to sell an ipod video. It is e 60GB version, condition quite jialat, so paid $170 for it, siqi told me he got smoke leh, I didnt really talk to him, nothing to talk at all. For no reason, I msg him not to smoke too much after he left, guess that I still care for him as a friend afterall. All those things have past, I forgive him long ago, just that I dont know whether he got change for e better. Lol, e decision that I made 4 yrs ago is still right, hope that he learn from his lesson. Been coughing non-stop this few days, morning also cough out blood in e phlgem, getting more jialat due to e weather. Nobody to take care of me, sad..I manage to get my leave approved for e dreaded KL trip, which gui kept pestering me to go. Initially took leave for 18 & 19, butI got 8.5 days of leave, so took 5 days straight, until 26th!! Finally a good week of rest without disruption, but I also dont know what to do. She used to fill up e empty spaces in my life, life just seem to be so boring without her around. Anyway, joel's birthday today, later most probably going clubbing with him after e movie. Still gona report back for duty tomorrow morning, hai...

Wishing for something that wouldnt come true?

Not feeling well today, sneezing non-stop with alot of phlgem coming out of my throat, food sudden seems so tasteless, lol. Sian, today kena lots of work from my 2IC, of all people, he chose me to do it, it is some timetable schedule for e next batch, I m totally new to it lo, been doing it since noon !@#$!%^&
Hai, I keep thinking about her, miss e quarrels I had with her, e way she looks when she is angry, lol. Though we always quarrel, it is always this stupid things that somehow spice up "conversation" between us, I came across an article yesterday saying that couples who quarrel tend to be together for a longer time than those who quarrel less? SOme food for thought ya? The urge is always there, to know what's going on in her life now, same as for others who break up, dont you often wonder what he/she is doing? How he/she is faring in their life? Lots of my friends felt that being in this r/s, I have been e unhappy one cos always been trying to give in to her. Well, it isnt true, I'm very happy with her all e while, she also did her part too, just that you guys didnt see it, bleh..This year xmas abit special huh, 1st time I felt so difficult to decide up which cliques should I go out with, it used to be, aiya, just meet them for awhile, then I will have my own time with her.You all can say I zhong se qing you la, I admit, but sometimes really not free, especially when I'm in e army. Anyway, its been a long time since I receive any xmas present, so those who got xim one, buy something for me la, I will consider going out with you, lol.
Come to think of it, is my temper really still that bad? I think I have mellow for e past years & my tolerance is definitely much more better than e past. But my sense of humour & lameness seem to have faith away, haha..u gain some, u lose some. I wonder what she's doing now..The rain just keep on coming, when it stop, will u be looking at e sky just like me? I wish that....

Down with a flu..

Yesterday went down to tanglin halt to get an ipod nano 2gb for $70!! Haha, but condition quite bad. Mrs ang, e spec shop auntie whom I very close with said that I've dark ring on my eyes, haha, must be due to my sleepless nights. Thereafter, spend e whole night at home chatting with friends on msn, since no one was free to go play dota or drink. Kena a flu for no reason, making my throat sore & dry, mucus keep flowing out, think I going to fall sick soon. Slacking in my coy mess now, planning on what to do for xmas, thinking of having a party at a hotel room with james & e rest, but I tried it once before with my sec friends, it was a bad experience but luckily she was around that time. Anyway, I will try to get leave on e 19th & 20th this month, cos Gui & Alan wana go KL for shopping. I dont really want to go, just wait till I get my leave 1st then see ba.

miserable, thats how i feel now..

No mood to do anything at all since yesterday. I just feel very down, think I wouldnt go back to help JJ in e shop for quite awhile, just dont have e "xin" to do anything. Isnt it stupid that I can always overcome difficulties but when it comes to her, I'm always at a loss? To e whole world, you maybe nothing, but to me you are my world. I dont know how people can manage to block thoughts? Cos I cant do it, I never go & think about it but it just keeps coming.. Do you ever have that kind of so near, yet so far feeling? Its really fuck up. Hai, here I'm again with e same things, how long will I remain like this? I dont feel good at all, miss her so much..

How do I live without you? I want to know...

Did I make e right choice? Is that what she really want afterall? Woke up at 1pm today, I went straight to her house & pass her e cake. Everything was finalise, we managed to talk for about an hr. Nope, I was e one asking questions, same old answer, but I finally take them as e final ones. I did cry alot, cant control at all, but at least I really did my best, no matter what I do wouldnt change anything at all. All I can do is to let you go, which is what you want. You tell me you cant commit yourself into anything cos you cant, you dont want to do anything to save this r/s. Seriously, I wish that I can let go, to take back e love I give out to you, but deep inside my heart, I dont want any of this to happen at all.


I decided not to disturb you anymore, carry on with my life. Thanks for all e laughter & joy you brought me this 3 years, really glad to have you around. If we were to cross path once more, I will never let you go again. Love you lots..

No mood for anything..

Just came back from MOS, tonight crowd was e biggest I seen so far. I reached there at around 830pm & e queue was already all e way to e taxi stand, thanks to our "gengness", Joel & I cut queue, lol. However, there were too little people, so we went out & hang out outside e road. So, both of us were busy fetching our friends, teaching e latter ones how to cut queue, then I saw her, guess that she saw me too, but she sorta act blur. Hai...11pm we went back in, was at e main arena, playing top40, I was shuffling around e crowd, when I suddenly saw her at e table. You see, e night before I decided not to go MOS cos she will be there, thus wanted to go Zoukout; nobody accompanying me there, so no choice, back to MOS. I told Marcus e night then & he told her about it when she asked whether he's going for her birthday. Ok, so I approached her at e table, congratulated her & had a quick chat, actually I asked whether can she spare me 5mins, she say no. Hai, I wanted to hug her, so my left hand was on her hip, but I quickly let go knowing that no point staying there. How she felt, I don't know, but I was damn miserable after it. For what reason, i don't know myself either. Just sudden no mood to dance nor DRINK! I was standing at e corner of e dance platform thinking some e same old thing. Stone that like for 1hr then dance for awhile, we went off at around 3pm, cos Joel & Huien was hungry, initially they planned to go back after eating, but Huien was too tire then, so Joel send her home. I went back for a brief moment to meet Kyle then go off le. Maybe my mind was preoccupied with too much things, I decided to take a walk by e river. Same old river, been walking this path for e past 3-4 years, everytime I take this path, happy memories will just flood my mind. Is it really my fault that things have to end up this way, I think that I did more than enough, if only things are still like e past.

I had spend e whole afternoon with Beng just now to bake e cheesecake for her. Already e 3rd time liao, haha, results were good, very nice, hee..I tried to cut it into heart shape but e pieces keep falling, then I realise my mistake, I should have cool it for a longer period of time. Anyway, I put it in a box, hope to present it to her as her birthday present later, hope she will like it...

Idle..idle..idle..

Yesterday was a great day !@#$% I spent e whole day at home idling. Wanted to cycle, but brakes spoilt, yet I no mood to go & repair it. Lol, so was playing dota e whole afternoon, tried to call her but she didnt pick up, thought that cos of e previous day incident she ignoring me. It was when she called back at ard 6pm then I realised she was sleeping, if only I can sleep until that late. Well, talk to her for awhile, I asked some silly questions again which only serve to make myself more miserable,lol.. Maybe, this time round, her love for me dwindled le or she's too tired of this r/s? If only she can tell me what she's been thinking all e while, then I dont have to make guesses all e time.
At night, was reading stuffs on martini, on how to make it, cos I already have all e stuffs & liquer. Hehe, I always wanted to make e drink, but somehow always never go & find e time to do it. So, after 1hr of research, I finally make one 8parts of bombay sapphire gin + 1 part of vermouth, its damn hot! e taste abit strange, so I kay kiang went down to 7-11 get cranberry juice; wrong move! Cos I remembered cranberry mix with any type of liquer taste like cough medicine. Anyway, I still added e cranberry into e martini, haha, got improve abit...Hmm, anyone out there got kahlua, sambuca & midori wana sell? I'm looking for them, hee.. Sian, I should have implemented a bar counter at my house, then can invite my friends to drink instead of going clubbing. Tommorow is her birthday celebration, I still haven't got her any present. Actually I don't feel like going, cos I sure be e odd one out, her friends sure give me that kind of unwelcome stares, will make me feel even more down lo. But I wana see her, hopefully nothing goes wrong at e event.

Confused & disappointed

Slack e whole day till evening time, have to pass ken e laptop that I was supposed to sell. I've no mood in posting any ad nor doing any deals, met up with victor for awhile cos have to return his mum's 3230 which was sent to me for repair. Actually was supposed to go Zouk, but freddie & brian stuck at tekong, so sorta of cancel it. Then went to JJ house after ken close shop, I wanted to play dota with them, but thought of doing something else....

I went to house downstairs wait for her, called her at ard 10.10pm, she was outside with a noisy background, so I was sitting there reading "one business 99 lessons" a book by Nanz chong komo. The book really sucks, but I manage to finish it, waited until 2.30pm, I thought I heard her voice cos I sitted quite near to e lift lobby, by e time I walked there nobody was around. So I went up, too late, she already in e house. I called her hp & said that I was waiting for her. Hai, but she said that she is too tired & give me alot of reason, left with no choice I went home. Reaching her house downstairs, I msg her again & she gave me e same answer, I asked isnt it obvious she don't want to see me, she replied ya, I don't want to see you...For what reason? Even I was right outside her doorstep, she also didnt want to open e door & give all sort of reasons. Hai...all I just want is to get to see her for a few seconds, is it that hard?

Idle..idle..idle..

As I was walking out from camp yesterday, I was thinking of what JJ was saying. If you don't do anything & just sit there, nothing will happen at all. True, I was in that direction 1 yr ago, even knowing that doing something wouldnt change anything, I will still put in my full effort to do it. Actually, it has been in my mind all along, to pursue one happiness, you have to do something to earn it. SO...when I reached JP, I went straight to e florist & got a bunch of blue roses. $25, quite worth it la, u idiots must be thinking why I wouldnt buy things for your at $25 right? Anyway, called shih before I reach, she didnt pick up, qin wasnt at home. Heng, when I reached there saw her mum & shih who jus came out bathing. I asked shih to place it on her bed then went off le, then I msg her to see whether she free anot, same answer, hai..

Reached home at around 10pm, idle around e laptop, then went to take a nap. Got a call from her at 12am, flower power! Neh, she scold me for wasting $$, might as well give her e $$ to spend, but she like e flowers. After she hung up e phone, I wanted to sms her, but fall asleep until 11am. Getting old le, I don't use to have e energy to stay up late at night, always feeling tire even in e afternoon or issit life is getting too dull for me? Hmm...Maybe going city area to buy her e present ba, really have no idea of what to get for her..

My biggest win in poker!

Hehe, in camp right now doing my cdt. Yesterday, went dinner with my colleagues at a Hongkie restaurant at cineleisure lvl 2, I cant remember e name, e dessert damn big lo! Kao, at first, I thought they were joking when they say I wouldnt be able to finish it. Serious, really cant finish, but quite nice, I order red bean ice, e whole of e ice mountain was covered with red bean but e inside is literally ice :(..I was talking cock all e way, somehow, they find me too annoying, keep on asking me to shutup. Hai, Ken also said if joyce is aroud, I wouldnt be spending time with them. Not really leh, I wasnt free most of e time for e past 8mths only until recently. I'm always misunderstood, so little time yet have to do so much things, spend time with so many ppl..Actually, I went to find her in e afternoon, wanted to take back e PDAs which havent been sold, in e end, spend 2 hrs at her house, talking with her, I still know that she still love me, nvm, not much of use now. After dinner, we proceed back to JJ house for our poker. Haha, great session, why? Cos I won e most! About $300+++ ba, Ken really e best poker player, he thought (ace,2,3,4,5) can be a flush, then wager $30 bucks with me, of cos I won it la. There was 1 round, he thought he got a full house which he mistook his jack for a queen, that round he also lose chor..

Hmm, for this past one month, I realise that I doing things for e sake of doing. Those ppl around me, thanks for all your listening ears, spending time with me & giving me moral support, I really appreciate it but I don't know how to say it. I might sound sarcastic at times, but I do know u guys really care, hehe..Time to go slack le..

Sian ar...

Haha, 1st time for this past 2 mths I slept for a good 10hrs, actually wanted to take a nap yesterday night, but my body finally give in. Today is my brother's 18th birthday, didnt get him anything, most of e time she was e one to get e present. Nothing much to write today, maybe later go out with my friends drink kopi lo..

Pondering...

Got a call from her at 10am plus, actually I msg her to call me when she wake up. As usual, nothing much to tell her except saying that I miss her. Zhou bo e whole day le, I also don't know what to do, sundays has never been this boring. Hmm, I was thinking about what if one day she really can overcome e obstacle, what will she do? I did ask her, but she don't want to give me an answer. Hai, maybe I'm really a big failure in r/s, never seem able to handle them well, yet I 'm e one who's always giving advice to others r/s. I want to go Sitex leh, today last day le, but don't know why, I don't have e mood to do anything, everything just seem so dull. If things go on like this, I don't know what to do man....Nvm, at night go cycling with shih, my area nice place to cycle, got high slopes, of cos going uphill will be damn tiring, I always cycle to labrador park, quite a nice place, tranquil, somemore lots of stars at night...

what am i doing?

Yesterday, went to orchard with Junrong again, guess that he still insecure now, afterall, 7 yrs being together ma...Lol, I was telling him all e things on how to surprise his gf, hmm, then I realised that I did alot of things for her. Accompany him for a few hrs, follow by 2hrs of dota tutorial, cos he wanted to learn, I headed to newton mrt. SY celebrating his bdae at no signboard restaurant, haha, got him some wine, don't know what to buy for him. Dinner was good, esp e crabs!! Shit, I late for sentosa le, at night then follow up...

Back, at lan shop now..Yesterday clubbing at MOS was quite fun, went there with kyle, joel & huien. Lots of chiobu, somehow, a group of 3 gers(not bad looking), one of them tried to dance with kyle but he just never respond to them, lol, wasted.. We left at around 3.30am, went mac to have a drink, there joel keep pestering about me what happen between mi & her, sian..After he & huien left, was talking to kyle, then I msg her, don't know why she know I was drinking, but after msg her, I feel even more down..

Nothing much for today, went to sentosa, play volleyball for awhile then slack le, then e routine dota which is I am playing now, I really don't like this type of life, though I'm happy with my friends around, something is still lacking..