Hard times.

Where are u when I need u? LOL. I realise at e worst of times, those that turned up are really those that care about you. Even a single sms will suffice. Thanks.

Raging.

My rages.
The ugly rears it head again. I know its always me, yet e control is never within my grasp.
Forget e sleepless nights, am really going to have a good sleep tonight.

Truth or lie?

Sometimes, e truth need not be told. Necessary it may seem, to others. Well, not for me. I dont mean that I tell lies most of e time, what I meant is, I normally dont say out things what people will want to hear. & thats a big issue to some. Hai, hard to accomodate to everyone. Simply because; Some people embrace e beautiful lie, while most people hate e ugly truth.

But not all truth are ugly right? At e very least, what I spoke out everything that night :)

Too much of e past.

I stared at e blank space for a few seconds.

Several images ran through my mind. 1st, in sequence, e fight that nearly broke out between 'Xuan Feng' & ' Qi Lin'. The macdonald birthday meal with joyce visiting bengzhee house for e 1st time. A 6 years ago phone call, that sow e seed of what I am today. Last bicycle trip I took in depot road. & perhaps, e most memorable out of these, e last night spent @ my depot road house with no lights, no fan but just a big purple candle. It happened when I was waiting outside beng's house just now, right after our night run. & it was e very same spot that I had e call. Ha, not trying to link it to anything, in fact there isnt any link at all. It just that, flashback of e past happens too frequently to me. Worst thing is, I indulged too much in it; used to. However, something seems to be missing recently. Of course, its not as if I can read myself, knowing when & what flashbacks I be getting.

Its really very hard to say.

New term.

The past one year has been a big mistake.

Spent too much time on work, too little time on studies & I was too complacent about myself. My 2nd school term is starting in 2 weeks time & I have decided to dedicate a 4 days study week. Also, to get my driving lesson & perhaps, exercise more to get a better body shape. Hahaha.

Zzz.

Got myself fucked.

Family.

Finally got to meet terrence last week! Lol, been trying to meet him up for more than a year, but I always forget about it. Anyway, had dinner with him at one of e restaurant in Jurong point; forgot which, was too full to enjoy it :( Had a chat with him, e usual questions. & he is doing quite well in his bus chartering business; drives a 3 series bmw o.O However, he is too busy to get into a relationship, or rather no time to socialise due to e working hours. Well, I kinda envy e fact that he managed to spend time on his family; bringing them out every sunday for a nice family meal. All along, spending time with my family has always been one of my top priorities in life, yet nowadays its damn hard to have a meal together with them. As in, all of us have our own commitments, I might be working on weekends, my brother might be in camp, my parents might have their own pre-planned activities. Nonetheless, I managed to had lunch with them on sunday & I simply love e feeling. Of course, I wouldnt say that to my parents, nor to my brother, haha.

We just need to find e time, dont we? :)