Easy to love, difficult to understand?

Yes, back into e forbidden mess, cos some technician came over to repair some of e computers & I'm supposed to 'supervise', hehe. Met afew of my old platoon mates over lunch, they came back as they have to attend some course. Then, got a good pal of mine who just got posted to some slack unit last week also met me & e rest. Damn, he's having a good life now, 8 to 5, zhou bo, everyday play pool, ZZZzzZZzz. Haha, downside to it, means will get fat easily because of no physical training. Anyway, this few days feeling quite down, but never really show it to anyone, trying to master e art of concealing feelings. Hard though, but worth a try, cos I realised that I'm difficult to understand & always misunderstood. So, dont say anything, dont show anything, dont do anything & nothing will happen! Somehow, I'm always threading on beliefs & hope, though I already tried to forsake e latter. Foolish me, I used to believe that one must always do e best to achieve your goals even if they are unattainable, but somehow I realised that I'm tired from it, so I 'adopted' to just let things be. Sadly, it doesnt prove to be a good move as it has proven me wrong for e past few weeks. Cont later..