Reflections..

Past. Yesterday morning
For all e memories I had, I'm glad that you were in e picture for e past 3 years. Well, I was flabbergasted when I heard it. Tonnes of questions were popping out from my mind & at e same time, I was trying to retain my composure, e best I could, was to cry in silence. Of course, at that moment, I wasnt in a right state of mind to think about anything, e only question that kept lingering on was 'why do you have to tell me now?'
For e next 3 hours, it seem like eternity. I was falling back into e self questioning process; why, how did it happen, what, how went wrong? It seems like I was carrying a hugh load on my shoulders, so hard to breathe, at some point I was actually taking deep breath & letting them out slowly. Finally, I feel asleep, woke up at around 1pm. Was having mild migraine, most likely due to e weather, especially when it gets hot. I wasnt blaming myself all this while, just cant accept e fact that it happened so fast. But I managed to collect my thoughts, & come to a conclusion; it doesnt matter anymore & I dont wish to know anymore too. At 930pm, met up with shiyan & siqi, they were playing chinese chess inside coffee bean, Zzzz, morons. A check with e manager, came a good news, a replacement card will be send to me in 2 weeks time & e stored value left was still intact at $21 :) Its great that these 2 jokers are around, though one is philosphical & e other sophisticated, but always been, great company to me. Supposingly, siqi wanted to meet up with lydia. In e end, four of us went to east coast park hawker center, had our dinner there, followed by crap talk.
Not bad, through this incident, I realised, as in affirmation in certain things. I should have given up long ago, I somehow will neglect some people that care about me & alot of my friends has always been there for me. Last thing is, it has shown clearly to me that I have feelings for you. You seem to be always there(this I dont know how to explain) & whenever I'm down, a sense of warmth will just envelope around me when I think of you; especially looking at your dumb pictures.
Now, I just hope that some things can change :)