My mind's a blank..

Just came back from camp. 1st thing I do is to switch on e com & write my emotions on this blog, I'm really in a daze, dont know what to do. I try not to think at all, but 心还是那么的痛.Yesterday ---> I didnt get to book out, because encik last minute dont allow, in e end, I wasted my $8 on my movie ticket, supposed to watch deathnote 2 with beng & alan. Then, went to e mess, found out keys with encik, go thru e back,; e windows not opened. Great, went to get my newspaper in coy office, cant find it, must be someone who took it. So, I msg her asking whether she free to talk. Lol, she told me she not free, talking to her boyfriend. Hai, e thing that I dreaded e most finally happen, e next 2 hrs, I was standing outside e corridor looking at e dark red sky. Aferwhich, I called her, maybe this is e last time I tell her how I feel & to wish her happiness, lol, I also dont know what I doing. 如果他真的是你的快乐，选择他，希望你真的快乐. 虽然我在骗自己，我真的希望你能得到你要的兴福.In e end, I think she was quite pissed off, which I kinda expect & e rain continue until 3am plus. I didnt manage to sleep well, kept crying & my mind was filled with thoughts, vivid images of me & her.

In e end, caught a flu, luckily not much work today, I just stayed in e office reading "American gods". I told JJ i cant help him next week, really dont have e 心 to do things now. All along I thought that there are still some things that you are holding on to, but seeing e pictures no longer there & e presence of that ring, I can see e msg you are telling me; You have totally given up?. IHaha, of course, I hope that I'm wrong. Am I making any conclusion? I also dont know, I really dont know... 我只知道我很真的想你...