What do you really know?

I've been struggling with my emotions all this while, what do you really know? I always have to put up a strong front while talking to you, trying to keep my tears, you know how hard it is? No matter how good my intentions are, its always misunderstood by you. You wanted me to keep a distance, yet you said we are dirfting apart? How am I suppose to know to do what; without interaction, without proper communication, how will things go on between us?

Can you just for once use your heart to listen & talk to me? Rather than using what you think is right? No matter where I go; Taking a bus, e usual you leaning on my shoulder is not there; walking around malls, e familiar hand holding me secure is not there; in my room, e often laughter & e conversations we had are no longer there, yet when I wake up everyday, e 1st thing I wish to see is that you are sleeping beside me. What do you know? That I'm emotionally torn inside out & you're not doing a single thing? I'm not blaming you, rather I blame myself for not being able to do a single thing & just know how to cry only. I want to spend xmas with you though its not possible, I wish that you can do something to improve e r/s between us...