Yesterday.

Shit day yesterday.

Was at Alexandra hospital in e morning, brought my grandpa for his routine checkup. I was kinda feeling uneasy(started e night before); previous scans revealed that he has a lump in his left lung & e lab tests that came back couldnt determine e nature of it. & so e doctor told me, he has early stage cancer; due to e years of smoking. Actually, he already quitted it years ago, but it was too late, damages been done & his lung is only functioning at 30% e most. He is already so old & I cant bear to tell him e truth, only telling him that e lump is still there. Options arent available to us also, surgery to remove is a nono, will complicate e function of his lung & so is chemotheraphy, which he wouldnt be able to take it.. All we can do is to let him do whatever he wants now, I really dont know what to say..

Saw dorcas @ Jurong point. Finally. Wanted to take my mind off e previous matter, so I decided to accompany for a short trip to one of e gift shop. She still look e same, still very sweet :) Ya, and she is pregnant with her 1st child, congrats~ Its kinda coincidence that she always appeared when am down & though we didnt chat for a long time; its as if we talk everyday & know me inside out? No, I not talking about my feelings, its just e pure comfort talking to someone who really knows u well. Over e years, I think I had wasted too much time on r/s & in e process, lose some which are precious to me. Time shouldnt be taken for granted.

u are precious to me.

Thoughts.

Yuki! I want a maltese too! Ha!

Think my memory is failing me, nowadays it takes me a few second to recall things. Cant seem to remember as well as I used to be, perhaps I choose not to? e trappings of life; work & studies. I wonder how things be like 2 years down e road, 25 years old by then, ha. Just have some random thoughts, actually not. Had dinner with shih & she was telling me about her relationship, made me realised how insensitive I am to others' feelings. Maybe thats why I get misunderstood easily? I dont know.

Came across this sentence; meglio una bella bugia che una brutta verita.
Better a beautiful lie than an ugly truth. Does that gives one a good valid reason to lie? e truth can be brutal, but I will rather have it. Yet, for some, layers of deceit are built on, a bigger lie each time, created to cover e previous. Not knowing that when it crumbles, everything will be lost.

Some things just doesnt make sense, does it?

Monday blues.

Tired. Tired. Tired.

Got to get to school earlier for some maths answer, arghh.. Past events, largely unrelated have been going through my mind. Hell, wtf am I really thinking?

I hate mondays.

Peace of mind.

I fell asleep then.
To wake up & find u leaning beside me.
Serene.
It is one of those reasons that I held on to so dearly. Yet, it matters nothing.
Nothing seems right nowadays.

Night.

The night has always been quiet. Perhaps for afew, when precious hours were stolen under e moonlight. It was at its best when e presence was just right beside & sleep wasnt one I need to worry of.

I need you.

Sniff.

Caught a cold.
At first, I thought it was an inflammation of e throat & ear; too much 'heaty' food, ha! Then, e mucus started dripping like nobody business(3 packs of tissues gone) & my head feels kinda heavy now. So much for resting yesterday, Zzzzz.. Met up with junrong @Bugis for dinner, happy father of one who is turning one soon! Time flies. We were talking about work & how life recently has been & e usual complains of work. Well, I kinda envious of him of having a family when he was telling me how his son wakes him up in e morning when he needed sleep e most. Ha, my stray thoughts again.

Its going to be a bad day at work today..arhh..

Tired.

I hardly can have a good decent rest.
Morning was spent at e library, doing my maths. Which reminds me of e good old secondary school days.. Eh, wrong. Poly days. Waiting outside e library for it to open, then getting seats for my friends & I. Plugged in e mp3 player, listening to songs & solving e questions. Typical school life again. I really hate e fucking maths, alreally did it 7 years ago & still doing it again, WTF. Anyway, first time I broke e rules, eating porridge in e library, bought by some kind soul who was sitting next to me, HA.
After lunch, went down to Tanglin halt for my weekly stock take. Felt damn tired, decided to head home & rest. So, I bluffed junrong, citing I have work to do, waahahaha.. Reached home, lazed around for an hour before falling asleep on e bed Zzzzzz.. & woke up 15mins later. Just cant seem to sleep well, so I decided to go for a haircut & looks like ah Toot now.

Sometimes I feel that my worries are unfound. How?