Time.

Loss of appetite. Cant seem to contain e breakfast which consist of only 2 sausages, eggs & red beans, sigh...

This week has been a damn busy one, every morning moved out for exercise, then back to camp late at night. Follow by a rush back home to bath & change, then rush out again. I realised that I have attained a new threshold on e time I should be asleep; 1am.. Around that timing, I will start to yawn, tears start flowing from e eyes & I will start to slur abit, lol. Well, because of e rush, I have 'received' a few injuries; last week cut my finger while using a penknife. & just yesterday, injured my toes when I was running out of e toilet; hit onto a tile that is jutting out underneath e sink. Cant wear shoe now, cos with just a slight pressure, blood will just flow out, Zzzz.. Well, its worth it, cos I will have more time to go out with her, wahaha.. Wtf, my skin looks so reddish, cos of e tanning I acquired when I was building & tearing down e command post on top of e 3 tonners for e past few days. Well, e view on top was good cos our situation was located on a top of e hill, can have a bird eyeview towards e tuas crossway, somemore still can see sunrise in e morning.

I'm actually quite worry how this thing been going on, e direction we are heading to & e answer that you have to give me one day. Somehow, one cant stop being irrational when falling in love, but I have been thinking e about e consequences over & over again; it reaches e same conclusion, always. Anyway, it takes two hands to clap, thats why I chose to do whatever that I'm doing now. Do me a favor by not telling me that you arent good, that I'm wasting my time. Why? Cos you arent providing any solution to me or to yourself. I have faith in you, dont disappoint me..
The past few days have been e best ones for e past one year, thanks..

Strange

Its a wonder how things escalate to this stage. What should I do? Somehow I feel that its going at a rate too fast, that I cant even believe myself doing it, ha.. No more thinking, go have my supper liao!

To be continued.

So far, this has been e best conversation. Like e way she talks when she's serious; alluring~ heh. Hmm, I think this is e closest to what I have always want, but I'm still stuck at a certain stage. Shall wait & see, till then!

Feelings galore.

Within a 2hr span, I was worried at first, followed by nervous, confuse, speechless(didnt know how to put words across), then happy(for a very very brief moment), helpless, sian & lastly, pondering.
I realised that what that I had wished for 20mins ago, didnt happen, fucking shit.
Cant sleep. One stupid solution; not this one.
How to count sheeps when I'm actually thinking of something else? Sigh...

Hard.

....
It took me damn long to even put down this sentence, cos I dont know how to start. Cant even really type down e thoughts on my mind now. I think its too fast for me to make any decision now, let alone to get any answer out of it. Fuck, e sense of urgency keep building up in me, but I cant do anything at all, can I?
I do mind, but to say it, will just make things more difficult. No mistake this time, I cant afford it, cos I dont want to lose you. I need more time to get it right, please dont prove me wrong...

By its own course.

Strange.
It just get stronger each day.
& I'm very sure its different from e others, especially when it parts. How should I put it? It seems so impossible that it can ever happen on me, yet it just 'snap' & is slowly becoming a fixture in my life. Whether to accept it anot, both have dire consequences. So, lets fate play a part in what it suppose to play a part, lol. Meanwhile, I just hope for something to happen & e conclusion shall be my final calling.

...

I dont know what am I doing. It keeps constantly sucking me in, yet I didnt choose to run away.
Think I'm falling. Shit.