Idle..idle..idle..

Yesterday was a great day !@#$% I spent e whole day at home idling. Wanted to cycle, but brakes spoilt, yet I no mood to go & repair it. Lol, so was playing dota e whole afternoon, tried to call her but she didnt pick up, thought that cos of e previous day incident she ignoring me. It was when she called back at ard 6pm then I realised she was sleeping, if only I can sleep until that late. Well, talk to her for awhile, I asked some silly questions again which only serve to make myself more miserable,lol.. Maybe, this time round, her love for me dwindled le or she's too tired of this r/s? If only she can tell me what she's been thinking all e while, then I dont have to make guesses all e time.
At night, was reading stuffs on martini, on how to make it, cos I already have all e stuffs & liquer. Hehe, I always wanted to make e drink, but somehow always never go & find e time to do it. So, after 1hr of research, I finally make one 8parts of bombay sapphire gin + 1 part of vermouth, its damn hot! e taste abit strange, so I kay kiang went down to 7-11 get cranberry juice; wrong move! Cos I remembered cranberry mix with any type of liquer taste like cough medicine. Anyway, I still added e cranberry into e martini, haha, got improve abit...Hmm, anyone out there got kahlua, sambuca & midori wana sell? I'm looking for them, hee.. Sian, I should have implemented a bar counter at my house, then can invite my friends to drink instead of going clubbing. Tommorow is her birthday celebration, I still haven't got her any present. Actually I don't feel like going, cos I sure be e odd one out, her friends sure give me that kind of unwelcome stares, will make me feel even more down lo. But I wana see her, hopefully nothing goes wrong at e event.

Confused & disappointed

Slack e whole day till evening time, have to pass ken e laptop that I was supposed to sell. I've no mood in posting any ad nor doing any deals, met up with victor for awhile cos have to return his mum's 3230 which was sent to me for repair. Actually was supposed to go Zouk, but freddie & brian stuck at tekong, so sorta of cancel it. Then went to JJ house after ken close shop, I wanted to play dota with them, but thought of doing something else....

I went to house downstairs wait for her, called her at ard 10.10pm, she was outside with a noisy background, so I was sitting there reading "one business 99 lessons" a book by Nanz chong komo. The book really sucks, but I manage to finish it, waited until 2.30pm, I thought I heard her voice cos I sitted quite near to e lift lobby, by e time I walked there nobody was around. So I went up, too late, she already in e house. I called her hp & said that I was waiting for her. Hai, but she said that she is too tired & give me alot of reason, left with no choice I went home. Reaching her house downstairs, I msg her again & she gave me e same answer, I asked isnt it obvious she don't want to see me, she replied ya, I don't want to see you...For what reason? Even I was right outside her doorstep, she also didnt want to open e door & give all sort of reasons. Hai...all I just want is to get to see her for a few seconds, is it that hard?

Idle..idle..idle..

As I was walking out from camp yesterday, I was thinking of what JJ was saying. If you don't do anything & just sit there, nothing will happen at all. True, I was in that direction 1 yr ago, even knowing that doing something wouldnt change anything, I will still put in my full effort to do it. Actually, it has been in my mind all along, to pursue one happiness, you have to do something to earn it. SO...when I reached JP, I went straight to e florist & got a bunch of blue roses. $25, quite worth it la, u idiots must be thinking why I wouldnt buy things for your at $25 right? Anyway, called shih before I reach, she didnt pick up, qin wasnt at home. Heng, when I reached there saw her mum & shih who jus came out bathing. I asked shih to place it on her bed then went off le, then I msg her to see whether she free anot, same answer, hai..

Reached home at around 10pm, idle around e laptop, then went to take a nap. Got a call from her at 12am, flower power! Neh, she scold me for wasting $$, might as well give her e $$ to spend, but she like e flowers. After she hung up e phone, I wanted to sms her, but fall asleep until 11am. Getting old le, I don't use to have e energy to stay up late at night, always feeling tire even in e afternoon or issit life is getting too dull for me? Hmm...Maybe going city area to buy her e present ba, really have no idea of what to get for her..

My biggest win in poker!

Hehe, in camp right now doing my cdt. Yesterday, went dinner with my colleagues at a Hongkie restaurant at cineleisure lvl 2, I cant remember e name, e dessert damn big lo! Kao, at first, I thought they were joking when they say I wouldnt be able to finish it. Serious, really cant finish, but quite nice, I order red bean ice, e whole of e ice mountain was covered with red bean but e inside is literally ice :(..I was talking cock all e way, somehow, they find me too annoying, keep on asking me to shutup. Hai, Ken also said if joyce is aroud, I wouldnt be spending time with them. Not really leh, I wasnt free most of e time for e past 8mths only until recently. I'm always misunderstood, so little time yet have to do so much things, spend time with so many ppl..Actually, I went to find her in e afternoon, wanted to take back e PDAs which havent been sold, in e end, spend 2 hrs at her house, talking with her, I still know that she still love me, nvm, not much of use now. After dinner, we proceed back to JJ house for our poker. Haha, great session, why? Cos I won e most! About $300+++ ba, Ken really e best poker player, he thought (ace,2,3,4,5) can be a flush, then wager $30 bucks with me, of cos I won it la. There was 1 round, he thought he got a full house which he mistook his jack for a queen, that round he also lose chor..

Hmm, for this past one month, I realise that I doing things for e sake of doing. Those ppl around me, thanks for all your listening ears, spending time with me & giving me moral support, I really appreciate it but I don't know how to say it. I might sound sarcastic at times, but I do know u guys really care, hehe..Time to go slack le..

Sian ar...

Haha, 1st time for this past 2 mths I slept for a good 10hrs, actually wanted to take a nap yesterday night, but my body finally give in. Today is my brother's 18th birthday, didnt get him anything, most of e time she was e one to get e present. Nothing much to write today, maybe later go out with my friends drink kopi lo..

Pondering...

Got a call from her at 10am plus, actually I msg her to call me when she wake up. As usual, nothing much to tell her except saying that I miss her. Zhou bo e whole day le, I also don't know what to do, sundays has never been this boring. Hmm, I was thinking about what if one day she really can overcome e obstacle, what will she do? I did ask her, but she don't want to give me an answer. Hai, maybe I'm really a big failure in r/s, never seem able to handle them well, yet I 'm e one who's always giving advice to others r/s. I want to go Sitex leh, today last day le, but don't know why, I don't have e mood to do anything, everything just seem so dull. If things go on like this, I don't know what to do man....Nvm, at night go cycling with shih, my area nice place to cycle, got high slopes, of cos going uphill will be damn tiring, I always cycle to labrador park, quite a nice place, tranquil, somemore lots of stars at night...

what am i doing?

Yesterday, went to orchard with Junrong again, guess that he still insecure now, afterall, 7 yrs being together ma...Lol, I was telling him all e things on how to surprise his gf, hmm, then I realised that I did alot of things for her. Accompany him for a few hrs, follow by 2hrs of dota tutorial, cos he wanted to learn, I headed to newton mrt. SY celebrating his bdae at no signboard restaurant, haha, got him some wine, don't know what to buy for him. Dinner was good, esp e crabs!! Shit, I late for sentosa le, at night then follow up...

Back, at lan shop now..Yesterday clubbing at MOS was quite fun, went there with kyle, joel & huien. Lots of chiobu, somehow, a group of 3 gers(not bad looking), one of them tried to dance with kyle but he just never respond to them, lol, wasted.. We left at around 3.30am, went mac to have a drink, there joel keep pestering about me what happen between mi & her, sian..After he & huien left, was talking to kyle, then I msg her, don't know why she know I was drinking, but after msg her, I feel even more down..

Nothing much for today, went to sentosa, play volleyball for awhile then slack le, then e routine dota which is I am playing now, I really don't like this type of life, though I'm happy with my friends around, something is still lacking..